Wednesday 22 October 2008

Leviticus 22

1And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

2Speak unto Aaron and to his sons, that they separate themselves from the holy things of the children of Israel, and that they profane not my holy name in those things which they hallow unto me: I am the LORD.

3Say unto them, Whosoever he be of all your seed among your generations, that goeth unto the holy things, which the children of Israel hallow unto the LORD, having his uncleanness upon him, that soul shall be cut off from my presence: I am the LORD.

4What man soever of the seed of Aaron is a leper, or hath a running issue; he shall not eat of the holy things, until he be clean. And whoso toucheth any thing that is unclean by the dead, or a man whose seed goeth from him;

God don't like you if you are a leper,have a runny ....anything or are impotent.

Strange, I would have thought he would have liked impotent men, I would have thought he would be reassured it happened to others.

5Or whosoever toucheth any creeping thing, whereby he may be made unclean, or a man of whom he may take uncleanness, whatsoever uncleanness he hath;

Who, can go through life never touching an insect or spider,especially living in tents, perhaps this only includes the four legged kinds, or.......the all seeing all knowing is showing that he knows fuck all, yet again!

6The soul which hath touched any such shall be unclean until even, and shall not eat of the holy things, unless he wash his flesh with water.

7And when the sun is down, he shall be clean, and shall afterward eat of the holy things; because it is his food.

Here's the almighty cleansing power of the darkness again.

8That which dieth of itself, or is torn with beasts, he shall not eat to defile himself therewith; I am the LORD.

9They shall therefore keep mine ordinance, lest they bear sin for it, and die therefore, if they profane it: I the LORD do sanctify them.

10There shall no stranger eat of the holy thing: a sojourner of the priest, or an hired servant, shall not eat of the holy thing.

11But if the priest buy any soul with his money, he shall eat of it, and he that is born in his house: they shall eat of his meat. The NLT says...11 However, if the priest buys a slave for himself, the slave may eat from the sacred offerings. And if his slaves have children, they also may share his food.

So with all these laws on sex and diet its still OK to own other human beings??

12If the priest's daughter also be married unto a stranger, she may not eat of an offering of the holy things.

How is it OK for anyone to marry their daughter to a stranger ?

13But if the priest's daughter be a widow, or divorced, and have no child, and is returned unto her father's house, as in her youth, she shall eat of her father's meat: but there shall be no stranger eat thereof.

I hope this is not meant as wrong as it reads.

14And if a man eat of the holy thing unwittingly, then he shall put the fifth part thereof unto it, and shall give it unto the priest with the holy thing.

Err what?

15And they shall not profane the holy things of the children of Israel, which they offer unto the LORD;

Does this mean thou shalt not wank on a cracker ?

16Or suffer them to bear the iniquity of trespass, when they eat their holy things: for I the LORD do sanctify them.

17And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

This is Moses god demanding a fine for his wrongdoing with Jethro god earlier in the big tent.

18Speak unto Aaron, and to his sons, and unto all the children of Israel, and say unto them, Whatsoever he be of the house of Israel, or of the strangers in Israel, that will offer his oblation for all his vows, and for all his freewill offerings, which they will offer unto the LORD for a burnt offering;

19Ye shall offer at your own will a male without blemish, of the beeves, of the sheep, or of the goats.

20But whatsoever hath a blemish, that shall ye not offer: for it shall not be acceptable for you.

21And whosoever offereth a sacrifice of peace offerings unto the LORD to accomplish his vow, or a freewill offering in beeves or sheep, it shall be perfect to be accepted; there shall be no blemish therein.

22Blind, or broken, or maimed, or having a wen, or scurvy, or scabbed, ye shall not offer these unto the LORD, nor make an offering by fire of them upon the altar unto the LORD.

23Either a bullock or a lamb that hath any thing superfluous or lacking in his parts, that mayest thou offer for a freewill offering; but for a vow it shall not be accepted.

24Ye shall not offer unto the LORD that which is bruised, or crushed, or broken, or cut; neither shall ye make any offering thereof in your land.

As always asking for the best meat.

25Neither from a stranger's hand shall ye offer the bread of your God of any of these; because their corruption is in them, and blemishes be in them: they shall not be accepted for you.

26And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

27When a bullock, or a sheep, or a goat, is brought forth, then it shall be seven days under the dam; and from the eighth day and thenceforth it shall be accepted for an offering made by fire unto the LORD.

28And whether it be cow, or ewe, ye shall not kill it and her young both in one day.

29And when ye will offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving unto the LORD, offer it at your own will.

Not that he's coercing them in any way...

30On the same day it shall be eaten up; ye shall leave none of it until the morrow: I am the LORD.

31Therefore shall ye keep my commandments, and do them: I am the LORD.

32Neither shall ye profane my holy name; but I will be hallowed among the children of Israel: I am the LORD which hallow you,

33That brought you out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: I am the LORD.

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